... The problem with good clean fun is it usually isn't much fun. ... I got confused when my United flight from San Francisco to Newark was set to depart from International terminal. Deciding to take advantage of the change, I tried to buy something at the duty free store. "Sorry, Newark is not a foreign land," I was told. "You've never been there have you?" I replied. ... For better or worse. I was standing and my wife was sitting and I asked her to pick up a tube on ointment from the floor. "Why?" "It's easier on my knee," I replied. "That's disgusting." "Oh yeah, wait until I get to the place you have to help me with a catheter." ... A Pennsylvania school plans to discipline six students who released hundreds of crickets during a graduation ceremony. The most logical punishment is to requirement them to eat the insects. ... The Department of Agriculture is planning to use military-grade weapons to track and kill feral pigs, which are both damaging and dangerous creatures. Can't wait for the "24" episode in which Jack is torturing an enemy agent to track the whereabouts of a rogue pack of porkers that are threatening the capital,.