… We haven’t heard a lot about the arrest of the No. Al Qaeda leader in this or that country. I always thought the way to disrupt operations was to label someone further down the line as No. 1 “You’re the No.1 terrorist? No, I’m the No. 1 terrorist.” They’d tear themselves apart. ... I believe in keeping mystery in a marriage. I must have succeeded because my wife says it’s a mystery to her why I do the things I do. … If at first you don’t succeed, call tech support. … Descriptions of drinks at Starbucks always fascinate me. The latest is “Isla Flores Indonesia”, which is described as “A legendary interplay of maple and butterscotch with woodsy evergreen notes.” “Woodsy?” the guy sitting next to me said. “Yeah, I think I just found a piece of bark in my coffee. There is also Quatemala Casi Cielo (Guatemala Almost Heaven). We could have some John Denver sound-alike, singing “Casi Cielo, Quatemala” Of course these descriptions are borrowed from “The Wine Snobs’ Book of Pretentious Consumption”. … Starbucks is known for its baristas. Barista always sounds like some kind of guerrilla group. “Generalissimo, the baristas are advancing on the capital, what should we do?” “Hit them with foam and a shot of caramel, commander.” … Our music director said Sunday was the best I had ever sung for him. It made me think of the story that Henny Youngman once totally bombed at the Friars Club. After it was over, another comedian, Pat Cooper, approached him and said, "Henny, you were never funnier." … LinkedIn endorsements are getting way out of hand. I just got endorsed for Breathing.