I believe this is known as failing the intelligence test. People like that need guns with a breathalyzer attached. ... A nuclear reactor in New York shut down after bird poop caused a short in an electric circuit. This provides a new world of possibilities for ending the spread of nuclear weapons—send flocks of pigeons over North Korea. ... I thought the "did too, did not" exchange between Donald Trump and Marco Rubio during this week's Republican debate was a little off topic and when the Donald started one exchange with "Marco, you ignorant slut," that was just a bit much. The debate was much like the dance, the limbo, how low can you go? You know, every picture I see of Trump has his mouth wide open. I just want to put a worm on a hook in front of it. ... Rubio's lack of success in the GOP primaries shouldn't dishearten him. He will live on in the new version of that child's game: "Marco", "Rubio", "Marco", Rubio". ... Watching the Oscar awards last week, I thought that after the event is over, some of those smiles need to be surgically removed. Of course, there's a different name for part of the event—the International Silicone Users Convention. There was so much Botox there, you could smoothe out the wrinkles in a herd of elephants. Can you imagine the panic if science discovered that Botox can melt silicone? ... The true test of acting ability, of course, is whether you can laugh heartily no matter how bad a joke on stage is at an awards event.