... My first-class experience on a prior flight has soured my personality for sitting in a regular seat. When the flight attendant came up and asked, “Trash?” I replied, “Just because I’m in coach doesn’t mean you have to be insulting.” ...
I’ve got my doubts about the development team that built my computer. I hit the hibernate feature and the thing went into a cave after the first cold snap and didn’t come out until spring. ... On a trip to dinner in San Francisco this week, we passed the O'Farrell Brothers Theater, which has been described as the Carnegie Hall of Public Sex in America. I guess it was true to its name. It was advertising Bach's B Minor Mass and strip show. I had been worried about my eating habits. But then I saw my Baby Ruth candy bar had four ounces of protein, that my favorite hard candy is fat free and that Count Chocula cereal is part of a balanced breakfast and realized I have nothing to worry about. ...  Soupy Sales, who died yesterday, will receive a 21-pie salute in honor of his service to comedy.