Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 34 seconds
RANDOM THOUGHTS; CHRISTMAS IN NEW YORK
Christmas in New York is always different. After eating cheap falafel with my family in the East Village we saw a Santa in a store shopping for a new bong. The corn cob pipe apparently is passé. Further on a guy in a Spiderman costume was pulling two young female tourists in a pedicab and popping wheelies while they screamed.
Then in Times Square, there were 20 Santas heading the same direction, probably training to prepare taxes at H&R Block after the holidays. One of them was seated with a handwritten sign hung around his neck with the cheery message, "I am being destroyed by so many things." And the subway rats were in their finest holiday gray and brown. ... While in the city, we attended a broadcast of the radio show “Prairie Home Companion” with Yo-Yo Ma as a guest. New York is a great city for the famed cellist. Everywhere he goes, New Yorkers great him with a warm, “Yo, Ma.” … A New York FM station was playing top songs from the "The Phil Spector Christmas Album". I think one provided early warnings about his violent tendencies. It was called, "I Saw Mommy Shooting Santa Claus." And there's that perennial favorite "All I Want for Christmas Is Time Off for Good Behavior". ... Roy Disney, Walt's nephew and a powerful Disney stockholder, died this week. He will receive a 21-dwarf salute. His ashes will be scattered on the waters of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Incidentally, someone was arrested for vandalizing the dolls in the "It's a Small World" area. He was released by police for performing a public service of incalculable value. ... Tiger Wood’s career as a pitch man might not be over. Given the number of reported mistresses, he could probably do a Viagra ad. “Perform like a Tiger with Viagra.” Or more accurately, “Perform like Tiger with Viagra.”
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