Wouldn't you know it? I looked at the shelf as IThere are a couple of different takes on Kate Middleton, who is marrying Price William. “People" headlined her as "A Perfect Princess." Another newsstand mag talked about her "Wild Nights of Drinking at Clubs." I suppose those two things aren't mutually exclusive. … I’ve come up with the antidote for impulse buying. I call it "repulse buying" -- the thought of spending money makes me sick. …. I told someone I had a very touching experience at Thanksgiving. "You spent time with your family and friends?" "No, I went through airport security." Actually, I don't object to TSA employees seeing X-Ray images of my body. I want them to suffer. Besides, how much more indignity can they inflict? Have you ridden coach lately?  … When my wife and I were finishing a meal at the local diner, she looked at me and asked, "What's the Tip?" I replied, "It's the money you leave to reward good service. But that’s another story." And don't call me, Shirley. Leslie Nielsen, RIP. (I don't know why she gets so mad at me.)