There was a lady on the street outside offering chocolate for sale. I’m not sure she was an M&M Mars employee. Across the street at Broadway and 48th  is Hershey’s Great American Chocolate Company store whose Reese’s section includes a package of two eight-ounce peanut butter cups for $15. Medical personnel have been called to the area repeatedly to treat visitors for chocolate overdose. ...There was a coterie of cops outside of Ripley’s Believe It or Not storefront on 42nd Street. They were there to inaugurate an exhibit that includes a statue of a person who got a ticket for jay walking in Manhattan. … … I knew I was in a tourist district in Times Square when I asked for directions and was told to “turn left after the third caricature artist and right after the second Rolex sales guy.” … I have figured out how to ease the European debt crisis. We hire a few New York merchants and we’ll come up with a program such as this: “Portugal, going out of business. Everything must go. We’re selling to the walls.” And then run it for the next ten years or so and it should raise more than enough cash. ... Auburn University has suspended four football players who admitted they participated in an armed robbery. They protested they were simply practicing the run-and-shoot offense. ... Toughest jobs: public relations for Charlie Sheen and promoting atomic energy.