... Actually, there was a more serious reason for killing Bin Laden. We were desperate to get news of Britain's royal wedding off the front page. ... Royal doctors plan prenatal testing on any children conceived by Prince William and Kate due to concern they might inherit their father's ears, the so-called "Dumbo Syndrome." ... The Franklin Mint has announced its "Famous Dead Terrorists" series which is following is highly popular "Dead Dictator Series." Unfortunately, market demand can't be met by the limited number of offerings in each category. The Mint is hoping for an untimely end to Libya's president, who could then qualify in both categories. ... Last week, was the 25th anniversary of the nuclear catastrophe at Chernobyl. Among the highlights was a performance by the Ukrainian Glowing Children's choir which provided both illumination and free x-rays. ... Ukrainian farmers have had an unexpected windfall from the effects of radiation. They have developed a breed of duck for which it's no longer necessary to debone the animal for restaurant fare. However, the fowl's inability to walk has produced unforeseen expenses in rearing them ... One of the unfortunate side effects of the nuclear plant problems that followed Japan's earthquake is likely to be a new series of cheap monster movies. Among those being rumored is "Mothra Meets the Aflac Duck" in which former Duck voice Gilbert Gottfried supplies the sounds for Mothra in seeking revenge against the company that fired him. Aflac will fumble the PR opportunity when it holds that monster damage is not covered under its policies. The courts, however, rule that nothing limits the size of the pest involved in pest damage coverage. ... Although Gottfried no longer holds the role of America's most watched bird, he is a shoo-in for "Most Annoying Voice of the 21st Century."