... Most of us are still trying to figure out how the Governator kept the kid a secret. My wife doesn't believe me when I tell her, yes, I put the seat down. ... A new television show is being planned to star former South Carolina Senator John Edwards, former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer and Schwarzenegger. It's going to be called either "Two and a Half Brains" (a recount is being considered) or "Two Men, Two Babies and a $1,500 Hooker." ... I was calling Citibank to inform the company that I would be traveling in Russia. The response I heard after dialing the number was "My horny girlfriends and I are waiting for you." I plunged ahead, "Hi, I was hoping you could take care of something for me." "Oh, we can take care of all of your needs." "I wanted to know what my balance is." "Oh,I'm sure whatever you have is enough." "Maam, thank you very much. But I'm not sure you work for Citibank." "I can be whatever you want me to be."