… There was a heart-warming “Dog the Bounty Hunter Christmas” on TV last week. The team decorated Dog’s hair with lights and he wished all the prisoners a holiday best as he secured them with gaily decorated handcuffs.  … I have developed a new social media platform called “Fritter”. It’s designed to enable business people to waste an endless amount of time online. Oh, darn, I guess they already have that.  … The following have been declared to be capital offenses: Parodies on “A Visit from St. Nicholas” (The Night before Christmas) , and “Casey at the Bat”;  joke Christmas lists and any use of the phrase “like herding cats.”  … There’s a new crossover song blending reggae and Middle Eastern tunes. It’s called “I Shot the Sherriff”.  (Or subtitled, “Fatwa, Schmatwa, It’s All the Same to Me.” … Plans to bring out a new version of the “Six Million Dollar Man” have been dropped after it turned out that adjusted for inflation he’s now worth only $2.65 million. … I think I upset some friends when I told them my reaction to the song “The Little Drummer Boy” was “Oh, how I hate drums, pa rump-a-pum-pum." ...  Early on in life, I found out that the problem with trying to drown my problems was they quickly developed into adept swimmers.