News from 2033: Pat Sajak, host of the former "Wheel of Fortune" game show was discovered in a run-down hotel room with the mummified body of  former letter turner Vanna White.  A police spokesperson said, "He kept mumbling, 'Do we have any E's? Vanna, why won't you answer." … Obituary of the week: 'Young and Restless' star Jeanne Cooper died at 84. Well, I suppose there was a chance that at least she was still restless. … The local frozen yogurt store has a flavor "European tart." I told the girl at check out, "Well maybe that’s legal in Amsterdam, but not here.". … “What’s the difference between scattered and isolated thunderstorms,” a friend asked. “They are very similar but isolated T-storms, are very lonely. … The lap band weight loss treatment is often confused with the lap dance weight loss treatment. While the latter is less effective, it is vastly more popular. … Sometimes you just feel outclassed. A straight A student was arrested in Tempe, Ariz., this week after a housekeeper found a bomb that he built in his room. And I was just so proud of that volcano I made for science class. … A poll shows that former president Jimmy Carter is America’s most trusted politician. That helps explain the resounding success of his re-election campaign. YouTube keeps hitting me with this message: “Right now your homepage has some popular videos and personalized recommendations, but it could be so much better." My response was "Dear YouTube. Leave me alone. I don’t want it any better.”