...  Lady Gaga's performance at the Video Music Award has been underappreciated. In her skimpy, clam shell outfit, she was merely updating Botticelli's famous "Birth of Venus." In Miley Cyrus' performance, we saw a lot more of Southern Montana from the former Hannah Montana than we had expected. (That reminds me, her dad's cousin is supposed to install a new toilet in our farmhouse in Indiana).  ... I've finally figured out who Gaga is – she's the reincarnation of Liberace whose doomed soul has been sentenced to strut around in thinner, but still ridiculous outfits. ... In a modern update to the fantasy classic, "Lord of the Rings," Sam and Frodo arrive at the gates to Mordor and see the sign "Welcome to Mordor. Rotary meets Tuesday 7:30 pm at the dark tower." ... When I was eating at a steak house in the Chicago area this week, I noted the menu item "Spit-roast chicken." 'I wonder who spits on them?" I remarked to the person next to me. .... Evidence has come to light that the famous Sherlock Holmes story by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was originally entitled "The Pekinese of the Baskervilles" in which residents of the English moors are terrified by the incessant yapping of tiny dogs which induced emotional instability in generations of the Baskerville family.