Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 34 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: EMINEM

EminemRapper Eminem, the most famous Mathers since Jerry, released a Mother's Day album with a tearful rendition of the touching song, "Yo, ma."  Some disappointed classical music fans downloaded the tunes, thinking they were by Yo Yo  Ma.... United has a series of ads on airport jetways, including one labeled "Flyer Friendly", a happy passenger in a cushioned commodious seat being served a wine glass and what looks like a cup of nuts. The headline should have been "Don't You Wish You Could Afford First Class, Peasant?"

Those condemned to eternal suffering in coach are in seats thrown out by some elementary school, served a thimble full of coffee and we have to crack our own nuts. (Especially if you try to move to pick up something you've dropped.) ... To maximize revenue, airlines are asking geneticist if it is possible to breed a new generation of people that have recessed elbows. ... The check-in routine at airports is getting ridiculous with all the queries about your desire to buy miles, more legroom, consider a later flight. I went through the following screens before I can see my seat selection: Would you like to buy more legroom? Are you really sure? Think about how nice it would be? Here's a picture of the typical coach seat. Have you changed your mind yet?" ... Pet food suppliers are touting products that have natural ingredients. And to provide the nutrition that your pet really loves, there is the new truly natural line, Purina Road Kill. It features tasty tidbits such a Two-day Old Bird, Putrid Creamed Mouse, and the ever-popular Something Rancid with Fur. ... Staring at enormous black-and-white grid that appeared during the technology misstep prior to the NetSuite keynote, I began calling a game of multi-dimensional Bingo in my head."B30,N750,G42; N491,G82,O611." I've been watching way too many episodes of "The Big Bang Theory."

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