… Walking through the Cincinnati airport, I noticed posts for the Cincinnati Choir Games. I told my wife “I can’t wait for the aquatic competition.” … Airports are getting more honest in describing the state of flight. There was another posted at the airport declaring “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.” And check in at the kiosks is getting even more annoying. After I clicked “No” to purchasing a set with more leg room, it asked “are you sure?” I entered “yes.” The machine responded “You know you are going to regret this about half way across the country.” … The latest campaign featuring the slogan “This is your brain on drugs” will prominently display the photograph of actress Lindsay Lohan. … Barry Bechler, who created the Ginsu knives of late-night TV fame, has died at the age of 71. At the funeral, he was memorialized by one friend who said “It’s not just a slice. It’s not just a dicer.” As the crowd frowned he paused, “Sorry, wrong script. As I was saying, ‘but wait, there’s more.’” … The new Microsoft Surface tablets have a hidden feature. When placed within 10 feet of an Apple iPad they automatically send out signals to destroy the rival device. ...  When I entered the restaurant at which our high school reunion was being held, I didn't even have to say what I was looking for. The hostess looked at me and said, "Old farts? This way please." And the class presidents gave a rousing speech in which he talked about "All those great memories of school together, if I could remember what they were."