I just want to have a caption coming out of the tiger’s head “Oh, boy, an hors’ d’oeuvre” … A visit to the bathroom at a party recently brought a jarring experience. Under the upraised toilet lid was a narrative that began “Read Manual …” I’m thinking, “Actually, I’ve done this before.” Then, I realized “Oh, it’s a heated seat”. Later, I noticed when the bathroom lights were turned off, the bowl had a lovely blue glow. Sort of like a Tidy Bowl Disco. .. Amazon head Jeff Bezos claims that the National Enquirer tried to blackmail him by releasing a nude selfie. The tabloid allegedly wanted him into dropping an investigation into how it obtained his text messages and photos with his reported mistress, Lauren Sanchez. Looking at his published photos, I am sure that we could mount a campaign to collect millions to prevent those photos from being published. I’d be willing to contribute. … The desire to have response to services rendered or products sold has gotten out of hand. I’m getting requests from my dentist, the airlines, the surgeon who did my knee. It could be worse. An unmarried friend said he got an email recently, “How was our date? Please rate your experiences.” …President Trump suggested a human wall will guard the Mexican border. Members will link hands and call out, “red rover, red rover, we dare Mexico over.” … Just placed an order for Girl Scout cookies. I always say that the cookie boxes should have the following: "Warning, contains one serving". … The weather here went from -5 one day to 67 two days later. After doing his annual gig, the groundhog came back out and went, “What the ?”