Tabloids are saying Kanye West and wife, Kim Kardashian, are expecting another baby. I hope they exercise discretion when the kid arrives. You know how sometimes parents take pictures of naked babies that embarrass them later in life. Oh wait, this is different. Well, they’d have a child with great skin since they would probably keep it well oiled.  I wonder if they would name their next child, South, following on their first born, North. ... The Iowa Supreme Court has agreed that people have a right to be drunk on their front porches.

I have concluded from observing the photos on websites that the primary users of accounting software are very attractive young people. ... Got a recent email from an unhappy subscriber to the Progressive Accountant. "DROP DEAD, YOU SCUMBAGSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I replied, "Which of our Scumbags do you have in mind?" ... One of those endearing moments with your spouse:  My Wife: I don't think our daughter will ever learn to change how she does things. Me: Gee, I wonder where she gets that? On the same theme as the last post: she wanted me to take the recyclables from the back porch to the street.

Was walking in the theater district in Manhattan today and saw the marquee for "Finding Neverland." The next biggest sign down the street is for the New York church of Scientology. Very fitting; both are based on fairy tales. ... Peter Pan could never have been invented if the story had been placed in Manhattan. Imagine the police call: "We got this guy down here in tights and a green hat and shirt. Nah, he's not one of the Statue of Liberty guys. Says his name is Peter Pan. Yes, I asked him if he was Hispanic.

I left my heart in San Francisco. I'm still trying to figure out where I deposited some of the other organs. ... With the well-publicized drought in California the thought hit me that we might be seeing the little city by the mud flats. But I was assured by locals most of the water comes from the ocean. ... Meanwhile, California prepared to carry out its first executions of people found guilty of violating water use rules. ... I was noticing those sure signs of spring—cars covered with tree pollen and people with hacking coughs.