Random Thoughts (1098)
RANDOM THOUGHTS: ELIOT SPITZER
- Friday, 12 July 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
Twinkies are returning to the market next week. Our long nightmare is almost over. … Archaeologists say they have discovered some of the world's oldest known primitive writing. I guess they stumbled across some of my old notebooks. … On the Dr. Oz show this week there was a demonstration of a a new smart fork that helps eat people less. “It periodically calls out “Hey, fat ass. You’re eating too much.”
RANDOM THOUGHTS: CAPTAIN KIRK
- Friday, 14 June 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
In the next Star Trek movie, Captain Kirk, who has endured years of difficult relations with the Klingons and the Romulans, meets an even more challenging race, the Teflons who prove difficult to destroy because none of the Enterprise’s weapons will stick to them. ... Someone at the Las Vegas Airport told me last week they were hearing a noise that didn’t stop. “That’s the endless sound of money going down the drain,” I said.
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: EMMA WATSON
- Friday, 07 June 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
Emma Watson, Hermione from the “Harry Potter” movies is going back to college. It’s a good idea. Somebody like her just can’t make a good living without that degree. Of course, in college her social life could be stifled by dates who fear that if they misbehave she will turn them into frogs. ... The Audubon Society is considering adding drone watching to its activities. Members will be encourage to classify drones by color, country of origin and cruising altitude. “Oh, I just love it when the drones come back to Capistrano every year.”
RANDOM THOUGHTS: AMANDA BYNES
- Friday, 31 May 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
Amanda Bynes is in a good spot for the upcoming competition with Lindsay Lohan for the Danny Bonaduce lifetime achievement award for dysfunctional child stars following the TV star's recent arrest for pot possession. Pop star Justin Bieber is considered an up-and-coming entrant for next year's selection …. Apparently the issue that spurred New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to have lapband surgery to deal with his with weight issue was that without Twinkies on the market, his doctors feared he would lose the will to live. By the way, former members of the cost of the TV show “Jersey Shore” were confused by the term, lap band.
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: ANTHONY WEINER
- Friday, 24 May 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
Former Congressman Anthony Weiner, who put the show in show-and-tell, has tossed his hat – well he tossed something - into the ring to run for Mayor of New York City. His declaration "I have nothing to hide" drew a "Please do" response from many New Yorkers. Weiner says he has proven he can measure up to the job. ... The Zombie apocalypse is coming to the Mountain State in a new movie in which John Denver’s famous homage is adopted as the theme song of “Almost Human, West Virginia”
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: HUGH HEFNER
- Friday, 17 May 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
There is a publicity photo for a planned remake of the movie “The Night of the Living Dead.” Oh, I’m sorry; that was a picture of 87-year old Hugh Hefner with his 27-year old wife. He had just bought a $5 million house for her. It’s equipped with a railing, ramp and an emergency supply of embalming fluid.... Technology raises all kinds of new issues involving etiquette. For example, is it good form to ask if the funeral home has wi-fi?
RANDOM THOUGHTS: ALEX TREBEK
- Friday, 10 May 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
I think emcee Alex Trebek’s other interests in selling insurance are sneaking into the TV quiz show, “Jeopardy.” I was watching the other night when I heard a contest say, “Thanks, Alex. I’ll have Final Expenses for $300”. “And the answer is ‘Costs less than 35 center a day.’” “Question: What is insurance from the Colonial Penn?” “Yes, and insurance from the Colonial Penn is a perfect gift for Mother’s Day.”
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: CAPTAIN JOHN SMITH
- Friday, 03 May 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
The menu at the restaurant in Manhattan we visited this week features something called “Amish chicken.” “Amish chicken?” a friend said. “Yeah, they serve it with a little round hat, a black jacket and a board.” … News from China is that nation has broken up a ring that was selling rat meat and meat from other small animals as mutton. Apparently, in China, Chuck E. Cheese is not just a mascot, but is on the menu.
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: LORD OF THE RINGS
- Friday, 26 April 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
There’s a new musical version of “Lord of the Rings” planned for next year. In the opening act, the wizard Gandalf sings a snappy “You’re getting to be a hobbit with me.” The evil lord Sauron croons, "I love Mordor in the springtime" and the romantic "I only have an eye for you." But everyone's plans are thwarted when, during the long quest, Frodo runs out of money and has to pawn the ring of power to pay for a hotel room that will accept hobbits.
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: HELLO KITTY
- Friday, 19 April 2013
- Random Thoughts
- Written by mark
When I got in the car I looked down at the brake and shouted. “You’re no good, You’re worthless. I don’t know why you exist.” My friend said, “Why are you yelling at the brake?.” “Well, it says depress the brake to start the car.” … Last week when I was in Manhattan, I saw two people in head to toe dress as big feet (as opposed to big foots?) outfits walking the street. It was a marketing pitch for a podiatrist.
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