Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (1098)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: STRIP SEARCHES

Teenage boys are using a recent court decision to argue that they should subject girls to strip searches. “Don’t you realize, the Supreme Court says I have the right to do this?” is the rationale they are giving. …. There’s a very effective new weight-loss technique, the Alicia Silverstone diet. You can eat anything you want, but she has to chew it and place it in your mouth. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: KENTUCKY BASKETBALL

John Calipari, U.K.The NCAA Basketball playoff game between the University of Kentucky with coach John Calipari and the University of Louisville with coach Rick Pitino was noteworthy. It is probably the only time in our lives that half the Italian population of Kentucky will be in the same building. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: CLARENCE THOMAS

Clarence Thomas,  Supreme Court JusticeRegarding the healthcare debate: I don’t want government making health care decisions. I think we should leave those in the hands of faceless nameless health insurance company employees the way it was meant to be. But the debate before the U.S. Supreme Court this week is heated. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: OEDIPUS

Albert Greiner as Oedipus, 1896The most common complaint Oedipus heard from his siblings while he was growing up? “Mom always liked you best.” But then Oeddy never listed to his mother. She kept telling him, "Be careful running with that stick or you'll put your eye out." The big problem at the King's house when he grew older was the name of his dog. People would call, "Here, Rex, here boy" and he would come running. His courtiers were always disappointed when the king refused to play fetch.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: RICK SANTORUM

Rick Santorum will ask to have stoning as the punishment for witchcraft and adultery. He is also proposing to make French Toast illegal. "We should be proud to eat only good American toast," he said. His proposal to eliminate you-know-what on the Internet (being careful of the spam filters here) is drawing nationwide protests from that such a move would cause ecommerce to collapse

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RANDOM THOUGHTS; THE LIMBAUGH

There’s a new dance out called the Limbaugh. It’s like the limbo. And while there’s no bar, the phrase “How low can you go?” fits perfectly. I completely understand Limbaugh's being perplexed at someone wanting aid in buying birth control pills. He just cannot fathom anyone having trouble getting prescription drugs. … I have empathy for the organic food movement and we buy some things organic. On the other hand, growing up on a farm, I’ve always understood that manure is also organic. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: FALLEN AND CAN'T GET UP

After I tripped and was lying on the ground, a passerby said, “Do you need help?” “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up,” I replied. “Actually I could. I just don’t want to. I think I’ll lie here for a few hours.” ... The worst idea by an inventor? A defibrillator that is operated via the clapper. "Clap off ... Oh, I'm so sorry." Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: THE VIEW

And in sad news, two of the original My Little Ponies had to be put down after veterinarians determined they had suffered crippling leg injuries owing to their advanced age. Unfortunately, the Pony Friendship Express Train had to make a stop at the glue factory. To keep the franchise alive, Hasbro is introducing a male pony to the all-female pony lineup called Stud Muffin, who is designed to ensure future generations of the four-legged icons. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: SANTORUM

Someone asked me what I thought of Santorum. I replied, “Well, if you need help, they can provide good treatment for mental conditions.” "Oh, no. He's a presidential candidate." "I'd say that's a pretty serious mental condition. But it's very curable."

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RANDOM THOUGHTS; BRADY AND GISELLE

GiselleFollowing the Patriots loss to the Giants in the Super Bowl, Giselle, the model who is the wife of New England Quarterback Tom Brady cursed the losing team's receiving corps. Brady was upset. He told her she was a bad girl—a very bad girl—and deserved a spanking. … A friend who had not watched the reality TV series asked me "What is the deadliest catch?" Read more...

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